While our children are young, it is easy to be shortsighted as to how their character, their inner being, is developing.
Some parents walk around with a fire extinguisher in hand, putting out fires, but perhaps we don’t take the time to plan the installation of a “forward-looking automatic water sprinkler system.” So, it is critical that we look down the road ahead, and ask ourselves: are we leading our children in the right direction?
We do not want to magnify the consequences that our children’s misbehavior could have. But it is important to understand that ignoring moral issues can have negative repercussions.
We must recognize that for multiple reasons, parents stop taking advantage of a crisis to teach our children the right thing to do. We must not allow justifying, ignoring, or overlooking an offense to become a pattern. This is why we must agree on how to respond to crises and be consistent in our response.
- Recognize our limitations. It wasn’t until I became a mother that I realized that I tend to be “soft.” More than once I succumbed to the precious and innocent eyes of my children. They looked at me as if to say: “Mom, it’s okay, ignore what I just did. I had to admit it, and decided to work as a team with my husband.
- Recognize the strengths of each one, and put them together. Realizing limitations is not easy. But for some, recognizing strengths can be even more difficult.
Allowing my husband’s steadfastness and determination to serve as my strength was not easy. On the other hand, my husband recognized my strength to be sensitive and understand some situations. We decided to unite our strengths, agree, and plan strategies.
- Decide together in advance the handling of discipline, permits, crises and conflicts. Today’s children seem to be born with the ability to recognize the weaknesses of their parents. They discover early the buttons they must push to achieve their goals.
Currently, my children are parents. In a recent conversation, it occurred to me to ask them: Why did they almost always go to me first? To which they replied with a smile: “Mom, you were the softest. But we realized that you were united ”. If my husband and I had not agreed, my children would have gotten away with it.
- And the last recommendation. We must decide together the kind of people we want to form in the hearts of our children. It is a sense of eternal purpose focused on the entire “way” of the child. That will mark a defined life trajectory and that will help them to make correct decisions every day.